purpose

well hey there. I hope all is well and that life itself is pure happy. I hope that there is about 10x more happiness in your life than there is sadness. that idea is what has been keeping me going these past few weeks when I've been stumbling around trying to figure out who I want to be. I know there is much more happiness in my life than sadness, and that gives me hope.

but even though there has been so much good, there has been some struggle too. junior year is hard. being a college student during a pandemic is hard. being on an executive board of a sorority during a pandemic is hard. trying to find purpose and passion in a pretty dark world is hard. and that is okay. sometimes things are tough and challenging and seem impossible. but we keep growing, learning, and adapting. onward and upward as I like to say.

it's easy to think about things in the now. what am I doing NOW. who am I NOW? but lately I've been transitioning my mindset to the future, and thinking a lot about purpose. my purpose to be specific. what is my purpose? what am I supposed to be and who do I even want to be in the future? I'd like to think I have a plan for what I want my professional life to be like, but I focus so much on that aspect of my future that I forget what type of person I want be. I want to be kind, compassionate, and genuine. a person people can lean on and look forward to seeing. a person that sees the good. a person that looks to God during struggle and leads by example.

there are two verses that I have been frequently looking back on during this weird transitional period in my life.

the first is James 1:2-4 and it says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I do not want to be lacking in my relationship with God. I do not want to be lacking as an individual. Ever.

the second is John 1:38 and it says "What are you seeking?". This verse goes around and around in my head and I keep asking myself this exact question. What am I seeking? And the truth is I do not really know. When you know that you have found everything you are looking for, there is no need to search. I haven't found that yet. I'm still seeking. I want to drop everything and follow Him and just not worry about the material things that seem to always come first yet shouldn't. but until I can focus solely on God I will continue to search. and learn and grow. and become the greatest and Godliest version of myself that I possibly can.

well that concludes my jumble of thoughts that seem to go in circles. kinda appropriate because thats how my head feels most of the time. anyway thats for reading and growing with me! we can do this together!

alllllllll the love my dudes

-Alyssa

^^^^ here are my sweet roomies and I during our cover quarantine. very cute.